Slim's Western Burger

Slim's is the best kept secret in North Portland. Boasting a chef who is Cordon Bleu-trained, a nice array of microbrews, free pool, and live music, there's a lot to like about this hole-in-the-wall bar. The burger is one of these things. Slim's Western BBQ Burger was the initial entry into my journey of burger discovery.

And discover I did.

This one was the perfect combination of everything you love about a cheeseburger from a bar and some serious culinary smarts. The burger consisted of a decent half-pound patty, excellent bacon, melted cheese (Tillamook I believe), great spicy BBQ sauce, two huge onion rings, tomato, and--wait for it--a dollop of fantastic coleslaw. Right on the burger. This was the kicker that made the burger distinctive and awesome as all hell. The way the slaw meshed with the tomato and the spicy BBQ was fantastic. Fresh, crisp, spicy, sweet and delicious.

So here's the breakdown by category:

1. Quality of Meat: 8. Good, but not perfect. Could have used some pink, but I think it was ground on-site.
   
2. Quality of Toppings: 10. Couldn't have been better.
   
3. Quality of Fries: 8. Good fries overall, but they didn't rock my world. Also you had to pay extra for them.
   
4. Consistency: TBD.
   
5. Price: 10. Incredibly cheap prices. This burger was just $6.75, though fries were extra. Still. For what we got, it was a damn good deal.

Intial overall rating: 9.

We're off to a good start here, people. There'll be pics in future posts. Up next: The Slowburger.

Criteria

There has to be a method to making calculations of this magnitude. To wit, the following criteria will be used in my quest to determine the best burger in Portland:

1. Quality of Meat
2. Quality of Toppings
   
3. Quality of Fries
4. Consistency
   
5. Price

Whenever I get my list down to a handful of finalists the issue of consistency will come into play. Indeed, it may be the most decisive factor in the end. Also, sadly, I'm already certain that the chances of the best fries being served with the best burger are slim. But that is merely a sadness within a greater joy.

Announcing the Quest

The truth is that I have, in large part, forsaken the burger. I cannot say where it all began, but this is the state we are in. I don't usually order burgers. The last one I had was in Arizona. I have decided that this must end. The mystery of the burger is not to be so lightly tossed aside, especially in a city boasting countless burger varieties and variations. Today my burger-forsaken life comes to an end as I initiate a quest. A noble, cheese-smothered quest. Today my official search for the best burger in Portland, Oregon begins.

This is not a sprint. I have no interested in gaining an extra 20 lbs in the next two weeks. This quest will move slowly, savoring every minute of it. Over the next few months we will discover the depth of the riches of hamburgerdom in Portland. From hipster bars who personally grind their own hormone-free beef to the countless hole-in-the-wall burger joints across town, no stone will be left unturned. Here is the initial shortlist of places I must try. I know it will be expanded, but one one must start somewhere, so I will be starting with places I know:

• Stanich's
• The Slow Bar
• Castagna Cafe
• Skyline Restraunt
  
• Slim's
• Hollywood Burger Bar
• Pause
• The Alibi
• The Twilight Room
• Mock's Crest Tavern
  

These have been chosen for one of two reasons. Either the restaurants themselves purport to have Portland's best burger or numerous Portlanders have given these places their enthusiastic vote. Natives, throw your other local candidates into the ring. Odds are, I'll eventually get around to trying the burger at any suggested place.

Let me be clear, I am not a hamburger enthusiast. I don't just love eating burgers. I am only interested in burgers that are done to perfection with massive amounts of glory. I do not expect to just love any and all burgers I happen to come across. I will be blunt, perhaps even brutal. But at the end of this quest we will know, beyond doubt, where we may go for the best burger in Portland.